In order to succeed, Your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure. It seems like no matter where we go and what we do, we somehow find ourselves constantly surrounded and confronted with FEAR.
What is it about FEAR that doesn’t allow us to let it go?
What is it that keeps millions of people, if not billions, unhappy and yet they still hang on to their fears, which ultimately keeps them from being happy? I spend a lot of time dealing with people in leadership roles, coaching, and growing their talents and yet see constant hesitation even though they know what to do (including myself)… So what is it really that makes it so hard to let go of fear?
Fear is simply in all of us, it is all around us, and manifests itself in different forms and shapes all the time. From your fear of dying, to the simpler fears of daily failures, or the fears of rejection. No matter what your confidence level, at some point or another you have dealt with fear and still do to some extent. Confidence is only a means to cover fear and show the world you can overcome it and are not afraid but ultimately only you know how you feel inside.
Its also worth mentioning that we all are better at some things than others and will display various levels of fear based on the situation.
A banker may not be as afraid of the stock market collapse even if he has money invested, as they are more aware of what is happening and therefore emotions are not as strong and logical reactions allow the confidence to overcome the fear.
The same can be said for an FBI agent in a gun fight who has proper training and previous experience which allows calculated moves rather than haste fear based ones. Now take the banker and FBI agents and make them change roles, and you suddenly have two people in total fear, one of losing their money and the other of dying.
Over time we grow skill sets which allows us to control our logic and our emotions which ultimately makes us fearless around certain things and certain ways of being.
Think of a friend you might have that you consider a ladies man. He might not be the best looking guy but he always gets the phone numbers and the attention from women that you would think would never entertain speaking with him.
Have you ever wondered why?
Experience allows him to understand how people will react to his actions and based on his past successful track record, he showcases confidence and is logical in his approach rather than afraid and timid giving him the edge over others around him.
It isn’t his good looks, his money, his fancy outfit, but rather his delivery, which if you put to the test, will show you that he isn’t afraid to engage in conversation with anyone. That’s where the skillset overcomes the fear.
So how do you get rid of your fear?
You learn to let go of emotions in your decisions and instead allow that adrenaline or anxiety that consumes your body in different ways to turn into action.
When you remove emotions, then you don’t think of what to do, you just do it. If you want to ask someone out or simply play the stock market, don’t think over and over about what to do, don’t think what if I lose money or what if I get rejected.
Instead immediately act, allowing your brain no time to refocus on emotions, but instead think of what to say or do next, no longer fearing what if as the action has already been started and now the reaction is all that’s left to control.
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